The Never Ending Journey

The way I think people are perceiving me…

I have really gotten into this “I think I am funny by being ironic and down-to-earth at the same time” thing. I have been obsessing over Mindy Kaling for the last few weeks and I think it has really furthered my writing and thinking career. Everything I say or will say, is of course completely biased and all in my brain. I don’t actually carry myself with this new attitude of “I’m hilarious and a writing genuis,” because I am as far from that as the sun is from pluto…(oh wait, that doesn’t exist anymore or something). Reading her book made me respond with, “Yes!! I think the same thing!!” about multiple opinions/topics she discussed. It was like she finally described in words so many things I thought but could never explain or some next level relatable coincidence. Firstly, I absolutely adored her sucky apartment in Brooklyn and the life she started out in New York City, because that IS what I want and I would rather go and fail MISERABLY than not go at all. Props to you, sister Mindy. One other thing I loved that she touched on, was the part about relationships which she said something to the extent of “I know, I know, another adult woman talking about relationship crap”…(I paraphrased)…but she said she wanted someone who will be committed and that means to a house, career, car payment, buying their own groceries, etc. Not necessarily to the romantic love. But yes, that is also very important. She also said she wanted it to be like her parents in that they are “pals” and can sit there and eat a milk shake and watch a show together and it doesn’t always have to be this romantic comedy. Just someone you can talk to for hours normally is what is important. I completely agree. I see my grandparents after 50+ years and I know what makes them stay together…their genuine love to be around each other. They can talk and watch The Housewives of Orange County together and be perfectly happy. That my friends, is amazing love in which Mindy touched on PERFECTLY. The last thing I loved from her book that I will discuss (because I loved every inch of it) was the small inclusion of how slowly dudes put on their shoes. THIS IS SO TRUE and I am SO HAPPY she wrote about it. It’s like “come on man hurry upppppppppppp!” 

To transition to my own life…I want to be able to sit down and write a book and include the insane things and have someone respond with “yes! so true!!” That is a goal of mine. Maybe I will fulfill it or maybe not! I won’t lose sleep over it though, thats for sure. So, I have been chatting with a guy friend basically everyday and we have awesome conversations (see a past post introducing this friend). I am usually laughing at every text and our rapport aids me in awesome comebacks and witty tweets (so I believe). But I think I literally tell him everything and it makes me laugh because there are a lot of interesting things in my life that people really don’t know about me! For instance, I love to salsa dance. I took five years of ballroom which consisted of basically everything from waltz to swing to salsa and so many more. Betchya didn’t know that! I really love letting people learn things about me and acting all humble and shy about it like it isn’t a big deal. Which it isn’t a big deal…I am just another casual early 20s girl who wants to move to the city and I write it all down in a blog or make a music video portraying my emotions about the situations. I am so all over the place haha. 

THE MOST RECENT EVENT IN MY LIFE WORTH SHARING BECAUSE IT INVOLVED INTERRACIAL INTERACTION WHICH I LOVE. 

A monday night in summer 2k13….I am 20 at this moment in time…

Firstly me being the oldest and only non drinker gave me the unspoken authority there which I milked mercilessly. Then I played the I’m almost 21 AND a twin card to increase my cool factor by 100%, which granted may not have been too hard with high schoolers…(it was actually kinda hard)… There were also a Japanese/white mixed dude and a black/white mix dude…we were so diverse. I contributed by throwing out my 1/8 Italian roots. But the real fun was going to pick up my friend and her co worker’s other co workers who are 100% Mexican. Instead of one, it ended up being 3 of them and one having to sit in the trunk like we were smuggling them across the border. They were so funny and I got two diet cokes for free from this so I was in Heaven. I also felt like I could relate to them with my intensive Latin dance background and intermediate level of Spanish. This usually never goes down smoothly because I am then forced to try to speak Spanish and I cannot to native speakers….or anyone when put on the spot…and basically I’m adopting the youngest one because I am semi in love with him. I desperately want to be Latina. They are amazing in so many tacky wrong ways.

I went to bed that night at 3 AM and I don’t regret any of it!

It’s one of those stay in your car and listen to the radio days.

You know, I have so many emotions and my life is a mess but something that keeps me grounded is my grandfather and hearing all the things that have happened in his life. He is one of the most interesting men I’ve ever known. I cannot wait to tell my children stories I’ve heard from him.

ATTENTION: Really good advice—don’t leave cans of coke in the car or they WILL explode in your face and hurt your eyes.

I wonder if anyone reads this anymore now that I’m home from Europe…now it’s either depressing as hell or full of “charm and wit” !!

I guess there is one way to really find out if it is being read is to blog something revealing or ridiculous and see if there are any reactions…maybe this will be a science experiment. You know I’m in chemistry class right now (passing with a C thank you) so I’m basically a scientist.

Here it goes! Stay tuned!

So my life has been a monotonous tune for the past nine weeks. I think that’s how long I have been back in the States. Apart from working out for endless hours to rid myself of the weight I put on, I have been working and going to school. It is nice to have a routine and be busy because being at home with the parents can be a bit tough at times. I have become such a lone wolf, really though. I guess it was inevitable since I traveled all over, alone. So I just do my stuff everyday and read a lot. I have read five books this summer already and I have lost 23 pounds as of a week ago! So I have been productive. I am learning how to eat healthy too and be active. It is giving me some confidence (which I lack). I seriously lack in with guys. I have such a crush on my bank teller …..L O L right! I don’t even know him but I think he is so cute and nice so naturally I am crushing haha. I also love talking to my friend I met in Italy. We have the best conversations and I smile whenever I get a text from him but he lives far away and graduated so he is starting is life and I’m still trying to get my life to end up in NYC. (Not that he even feels anything for me but just throwing it out there). Other than that I got a cartilage piercing which makes me feel cool, haha, but was pretty painful and hopefully won’t end up like how my nose piercing did (infected and scarred). Apart from that — I’ve made some cool friends in my class which ill never see after it ends but it makes going to class bearable! I also started getting discipled by the coolest chick ever and I’m pumped to learn from her for the rest of the summer!! My mom and I planned our trip to Seattle for the end of July which I am so excited for because I have never been that far north west! My relationship with her has definitely progressed which has been good. Of course, she is still my mom so we have our moments but its much better. I have really gotten my temper under control and have become more laid back than in the past. I like it a lot. Also, I started a journal to my future daughter to give to her when she is 13 in order to talk to her as a young girl instead of as her mother. It’s hard to listen to your mom when you’re a teenager. I have had so many projects this summer! It’s been adventuresome. I’ve been planning my dad’s 50th birthday too and I think he will be pretty surprised and happy! We did get into a huge fight the other day about my mom and all that. It’s okay now but at the time it was pretty bad. He sent me flowers to apologize. …he sent them to work though so I was mad. I don’t like being manipulated in that way. He is trying to change and be a “father” like he wasn’t when we were little but it’s just odd to me because I’m not used to some things he does for me now. It feels very contrived I guess but I know most of it is sincere. I caught him moving my car one morning so I can leave for school without having to back out of the driveway. He doesn’t know I saw him do it and he does it every morning when I’m at his house. It’s sweet and he doesn’t ever acknowledge it which makes me laugh. Life is complicated really. One thing I know is that I have amazing support from my grandparents and aunt (hehe), apart from my parents, which is so comforting. I feel bad for those who don’t have that support. Anyway, I am a rambling mess now because it is a Friday night and no one was able to do anything so I got stuck on the couch watching “Friends” but hey at least I didn’t have to put make up on ….silver lining?

Peace out.

I’m glad there is a God who has it all planned out for me. I could never take on that role. From what I have already tried to plan/control in my life has crashed and burned around me. God is so patient and powerful to have a plan for each of the billions of people in this world. More power to him for being so creative too.

My perfect moment is being in a crappy but eccentrically decorated apartment in NYC with my windows open listening to the noises of the city with someone I love dearly. We would be sitting on the couch with the tv on (but not watching) and eating a delicious piece of cheesecake. There is nothing more perfect than that probably.

It’s time to take my experiences and use them for my benefit. I need to let go of the fact I chose to come home early and be thankful I met who I met and saw what I saw. In the end, Godisgood.